WARNING!
This auction contains images that may be VERY disturbing
to people who love
Pottery and Glass |
Okay, we've all experienced this. We're so excited we found that
one beautiful piece missing from our collection, or some
exquisite example of pottery that would look divine in our
entryway.
We sniped it, we paid immediately, we tactfully instructed the seller
on how to pack it properly to survive shipment, and then it arrives. . .
(I must warn you again, if
you can't tolerate scenes of Pottery Abuse, please close your eyes)
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V
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THE HORROR!!!
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Like everyone else,
when these things happened, I blamed it on
sellers who didn't know how to pack, or sadistic posties who'd been
forced to eat lima beans out of fine porcelain as children. And we all
know about the nasty men and women in brown and what THEY do.
But then
something happened that made me rethink my assumptions.
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A good
friend sold a teapot and this is how it arrived at her buyer's house.
Now, I know this
seller well. She packs all her breakables very
carefully and even double boxed this.
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The buyer insisted it wasn't
double boxed, but rather just tossed in a big box
with almost no
packing material and had arrived like this..
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My friend was
stunned. No way did she send a box that looked like that! The
inner box, the bubble wrap, and all other packing
material was missing! (She was also babbling something about
feathers, but she was so upset that she wasn't making sense.)
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Well, it all seemed really odd, but I have to confess I didn't give it
much thought.
In fact, I didn't really think about it again until...
This package arrived at my house.
t
And here's what was inside
This package was weird in a way I'd not encountered before. First of
all, what's with all the feathers? I mean, had this seller lost his
mind? Did he use an old pillow to pack this? But amazingly, the little
angel had survived and was all in one piece. Well, almost -- on closer
inspection, it seems she was missing a small flake of glaze on the
front.
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I wrote to the person from whom I'd bought this and queried him about
the condition and the packing job. He insisted that he'd double
boxed, had not used
feathers to pack, and that this angel was in perfect condition when it
left his house. Okay, I'll admit I was a wee bit annoyed at
this
point but then I remembered my friend's experience and decided to give
him the benefit of the doubt.
But here's
where things start getting really creepy.
Even though I'd
had a lot of breakage in
packages in the past, I wasn't
prepared for
what happened the next day.
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I went to the china hutch and found this
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I opened my kitchen cupboard
and found this
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I walked into the
living room
and found this!!!
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HELP!! Someone or something was responsible and it was
on the loose in my house. I didn't know how much more of this I
could take. It was going
after everything breakable!!! I decided I must
take action.
I
had to trap this thing and put an end to the carnage.
Now, I'm not much of a hunter. The last time I tried to catch something
was when I was a child and wanted to trap a bunny that was roaming
loose in the neighborhood.
So, I turned to what I know.
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I chose the
bait carefully. I was certain this Haviland sugar bowl
would bring it out of hiding.
But after hours of waiting
behind the couch . . .
Nothing.
Well, our cat Spike may have
had
something to do with the lack of success.
But not one to give up easily, I
thought, "Okay, maybe porcelain isn't the way to go, maybe domestic
pottery
would be better."
So I tried again:
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What? It's not even tempted
by Roseville?
Okay, rethink
strategy.... desperate situations call for desperate measures.
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ANOTHER WARNING HERE
If stacked Pyrex disturbs
you, the next image will likely give you nightmares for years
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But finally, after days and days of trying, with yet more wreckage left
in its
wake.......
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Success!!
I confess here that I couldn't
bear to look. I had no idea what sort of
hideous demon would have been subjecting me to all this pain and
suffering, so I asked my boyfriend to take care of it. Besides, I
just
couldn't stand to see the dead jadite.
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But nothing prepared me for
the sight of
what I'd caught
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It was
that sweet little angel that had arrived in the crushed box! How could
that be? I thought back over the events of the last
several days and, as improbable as it was, this seemed to be the source
of all the trouble.
I had to find a way to contain this
horrible beauty.
And for all of her treachery, she is beautiful and she deserves to be
confined in a jail in keeping with that beauty. So we made this
box for her.
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Of course, in the meantime, I
had to
be sure that she couldn't get to
the china.
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So here we are in the present
I've had a lot of time to wonder what accounts for her demonic
behavior. Is it just that she's the October Angel and therefore
destined to be plagued by spirits? Maybe it's that number 13
stamped on her sweet little bottom. Or perhaps because of all the
crazing and that little sad glaze chip in the orange and
black mask she holds, she becomes insanely jealousy at the sight of
perfect pottery or
glass and flies into a rage. Has she always been like this, or
was
she possessed during her time in the care of the posties?
Sadly, we will probably never know.
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Isn't she a beauty?
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If I had all this crazing,
I might be vicious too!
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Look at that number 13!
And there's that sad
little glaze flake
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All I do know is
that not a single piece of PGorP has been trashed since she was
apprehended.
I can't be sure, but she may be responsible for all those broken
pretties that we've all
received. I strongly suspect that by keeping
her locked up, I've protected not only my own treasures but those of
the entire world.
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Now here's my
dilemma. We're getting ready to remodel the house. I'm
going to have workers in and out, none of them with any idea what a
terrifying creature I house here. I just won't be able to adequately
supervise this cruel thing.
So she needs a new home. But you must understand that if you take her
in, she comes with a huge responsibility. You must promise that you
won't set her loose.
All the Weller, and Blenko, and those
fine
Dresden figurines of the world are counting on you.
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If
you choose to take on this responsibility and bid on this auction,
you will receive this
deceptively sweet looking little porcelain angel
and the lovely custom box we've
made to keep her safely housed.
Please bid responsibly.
DISCLAIMER: No
PG&P was harmed in the production of this auction. All damage
portrayed here was actually perpetrated at the hands of others before
it ever
came into my possession. Tragically, I paid to have most of this
shipped to me.
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