"Dog Tired Blanche" Salt & Pepper Set
Howdy, honey! Have yourself a seat! My name is Blanche. Heat been getting to you too, honey? At least I have an indoors job! That’s the good thing about this profession! Aw no, honey, I wasn’t always a professional! I mean I had all those years with Harold, the Ex. Yeah, life was good for a while with the little bungalow and then Harold hit it good one night at the Black Jack table! Next thing ya know, there was the new T-Bird and the above-ground pool and the red cedar lounge chairs. I even landscaped the yard with purple pansies, potted pink geraniums, and those cute pink flamingos! I just love hot summer pink, honey! But Harold’s attention was always scattered worse than summer afternoon thunderstorms! Got tired of Black Jack and thought the tracks would be more fun. And let me tell you, honey, that man would not know a thoroughbred from a Chincoteague pony if the two were standing side by side! So here I am, my professional self, and, honey, these dogs are tired today! The only pool I’ll be seein’ tonight is my Epsom Salt foot soak when I get off this double-shift!
BOTTOM LINE: I’ll be downright insulted if anyone calls me “vintage!” A gal doesn’t mind being called “mature” but not “vintage!” Impressed marks (that’s kinda like a scratchy tattoo) on my backside read “© Banning Ent. ’87.” I’m a tall and leggy 12 inches high and only weigh 1 pound 4 ounces. Sort of Amazonian, don’t ya think? I’m a resin cast and, honey, that means this Good Ole Girl is going to be around a loooong time! I broke my right arm chasin’ Harold down the driveway when he drove off in the T-Bird. (I just loved that convertible but that’s when I found out I couldn’t run too well in my 4 inch spikes!) Anyhow, the Doc fixed me up fine and, to this day, I can hardly tell that ole arm was ever hurt! Besides, honey, I’m sticking to these 3 inch wedgies now! And just to keep things really unique and interesting, I’m serving up the glass with my own special class! These are real cute glass salt and pepper shakers I’m serving here! Admit it, honey, you’ve never laid eyes on anything like Miss Blanche before! And I only come on one condition…if you ever see that mangy dog, Harold, you’ll tell him to send my mink stole back to me!
UPDATE!
 Dear Bee and Glen,
Howdy! Thought I'd drop you a line..and let y'all know about my new digs!
Wahoooooooooooo! California is the place to be!
New bling bling... (green shakers), and check it out (attached)! Pool side IN GROUND!!
AND salt water pool to boot! No chlorine here!! Thank God..my blonde "do" will not tolerate GREEN HAIR!
Tons of cabana boys around here! I tell ya.....I think I've died and gone to heaven!
These kind folks are gonna help me track down that scoundrel Harold!..and get MY FUR back!!
Take care y'all...I'll keep ya posted!
Miss ya xoxo...but not enough to come back. Ever. ;>)
Gotta run..tons of hunky men to serve pool side! "Catch ya later"...(that's Cali talk)
Your Gal,
Blanche (make that Miss Blanche now!)
UPDATE 8/14/05
Dear PGP Board
I gotta tell y'all...What a hoot! Who'da think I'd be in a Hall of Fame!...Little Old Me! No doubt that mangy/user Harold had bets on ME! Good News!!..I have hunted him down with the help of my new "Cali's"...and I'll be darn..got back my FUR! Will send pics soon..you ain't gonna believe it! Life's good! Gotta go gals/guys...Spa heatin' up for me as we speak! These "dogs" need soaking-all those years "waitin on folks" are about to get a fixin'!
THANKS SO MUCH FOR another chance "at winning" in life!
Y'all take care now,
Miss Blanche
P.S. That Chilly Willy makes my heart a beatin'!
Oh..the Cali's want to say Hi! (I've been a bit selfish taking o'er their laptop).
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Never have I had soooooo much fun at auction than w/this sale! Blanche is "sassy"..but we can handle it! It's the "red" lipstick stains EVERYWHERE that's the hardest to deal with! Thanks so much for the opportunity, and the hard work of all of you that made this possible for me!
Proud slave to Blanche's plight now,
Kathryn
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